Death?

last night i dreamed i was about to die... could have been a result of eating too close to bedtime, could have been random coincidence (which i don't believe in), or it could have been God speaking to me. let's go with that one. seems He's been doing that a lot recently, and i am certainly not complaining. but death, really?!

i didn't actually die in my dream, but i did fall on the floor and yell for help, 'we're gonna have to go to the hospital.' i know this doesn't necessarily mean i was dying, but there was this overwhelming feeling of imminent death. like i was just sitting around waiting to die... but at least i was surrounded by the people I love.

it was at this point i awakened, feeling troubled and uneasy, to say the least. i don't believe it is my time to die, but i'm not the one holding those cards. my life is secure in my God, and whether He takes me home or comes to get me, sooner or later i will have to move on from this world. selfishly, i'm hoping it's not any time soon. i believe there is still work i have yet to do. when i finish my race, then i will go home. for now, though, i must keep running. i know that i win either way, for as Paul said, 'For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.' (Phil.1:21)

when i awoke, i was burdened with the thought, 'what if i were dying? how would that affect the way i was living?' it was then that i realized that i am dying. every single one of us is... but how often do we think of this? does the thought of our eventual deaths drive us to live better lives? and if not, shouldn't it?

another thought that came to me (through Erin, once again) was that usually death, in a dream sense, is synonymous with 'change.' considering this, everything starts to make sense. change has been all around me for a while now. God is not changing, but he is DEFINITELY making a big change in my life. i was told a couple days before this dream that there is a 'spiritual whirlwind around me,' and before that i randomly (or not) posted the lyrics to Brandon Heath's 'wait and see,' which say 'He's up to something.' and yesterday on the simpsons, Lisa encountered a fortune teller, who immediately drew the 'death' card... her first reaction was one of fear and denial, as was mine. but the teller explained that death was a good thing; that it meant change was coming; a new chapter, of sorts... coincidental, indeed.

so, all that to say that God is definitely up to something in my life. and i am certain it will involve moving me to a place i have never considered going. so much for comfort zones... mine has been constantly shrinking and/or shattering for over a year now, and there's no sign of it letting up. once again, i'm not complaining. i just feel such a sense of honor and privilege to be in God's plan; to know that He is using me in some magnificent way that is forever beyond me, for His glory.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Thank you for reading this, and God bless.